I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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