Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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