I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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