He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
we're making bets on your personal life
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
