You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Randomize
