This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I stole a fireplace last night.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
