You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
