when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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