New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
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