No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
they need to just BURY HIM!
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
