I skipped work to stalk him.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
