better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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