Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
