if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
