Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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