is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
