ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
