Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
