I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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