I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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