I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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