He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Your topless pictures make me question reality
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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