I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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