I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
