Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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