nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
