I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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