she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
