gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
