Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
