I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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