I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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