You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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