Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
