Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
