2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
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