3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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