Define "chronic" masturbator.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
