I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
