He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
