Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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