I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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