So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
