i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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