you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
