is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Randomize
