Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I need a beard to bite.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
