what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
