you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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