I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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